Monthly Archives: August 2011

Maybe

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Maybe…

”there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, that once they are around, you appreciate them more…”

I dreamed of her last night…actually it was already at dawn when I saw her in my dreams. She looked as fresh and beautiful as ever. We were like a twin sister. She was waving at me and trying to say something…God I am missing her. Much as I would like her to stay and have a conversation w/ me, she soon gone without saying bye. It’s like she was just there waving at me and then in just one snap of a finger, she was no longer there in front of me…

I was wondering if those who passed away still remember those they left behind. Do they still recognize us or will recognize us when we meet them in there? I still remember the movie I’ve seen before, that when they meet in heaven or in hell, you won’t recognize them anymore or you both don’t know each other. Their physical appearance changed but you know in your heart, that they are your loved ones who passed away.

Sometimes I am thinking how she is doing now. Whenever I see a person who looks like her, I can’t help but reminisce all the memories we’ve shared. Those happy and bad times; our never ending stories about anything; the borrowing things, like she will walk in to my room, checked on my cabinet then taddaaah! She will get my clothes and accessories in there…and even if her shoe size is 1 size bigger than mine, she will still use my shoes for she adores all of my things. Hehhehe! There was this one time when she borrowed one of my fave top and she slept over at her friend’s house, she returned home telling me that her bag has been snatched and my fave top was in the bag. I almost screamed at her for not taking care of my things. But then, much as I would like to blame her, I can’t. She is my older sister, and she is my best friend. I am thankful that nothing happened to her and no harm has been done by someone who snatched her bag.

I can still recall each night when she comes home, she has a lot of complaining for the traffic, no ride going home; that she was tired from work; anything! Name all the complaints and she has it in line. I was telling her that those are litanies just so she can avoid doing the household chores. But I love her.

Things are ok between us sisters even if she’s like that. We have different flaws and we understand each other; yet sometimes she can’t stand my mood. Said I’m making her crazy for my mood swings, but she loves me. I know.

She loves my recipes. She likes all the dishes that I cooked…because if not, she’ll be dead! My ginataang tambakol (fish cooked in coconut milk) was very famous for her; that even if I cooked that everyday, she’ll keep on asking for more…more…everyday.

She is kikay than me…more pa cute than me. I admit, she is beautiful than me. Sometimes our cousins can’t help but comparing the two of us. All praises for being beautiful was with her, but I am smart; and so they think that there was this competition between us…we don’t mind.

I never forget the day when she left, she passed away without any sign. I am here and she was there. I can’t go home, to take care of her and to be with her. And I was blaming myself for not listening to her. Said she will be missing me and that she was not happy about my decision of leaving them. I never got the chance of hugging her even just for the last time… For me she is my little sister, she needs my help in everything; she is vulnerable. At her age, she was not that mature enough to think about the future. For her life is like counting 123. If things are getting out of control, it made her upset. I was always there to cheer her up…

Is she thinking about me now? Does she know how much I am missing her? I just hope she does. I just hope she still know how much I love her. My childhood dreams are all build with her. She is my best friend. My super dooper sister. I just hope she knows how to go back home…

Love yah sis! I’ll see you…not that too soon.

Random thoughts…

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I was browsing my Facebook page and then I saw the post I have shared on my wall exactly a year ago. Here it goes…

i like this quotation. it is indeed true. 🙂

No, I am not being senti and emotea here. I just thought i’d share to see how many would react. hehe. Well enough of that stuff…

We just arrived home from my friend Leah’s place. My cat and dog convinced me early this afternoon (while resting from the days worked) to go and visit their Tita Leah just so they can have the time of their life again, swimming!

I said no and I saw the disappointment from both their eyes. Having this heart as soft as marshmallow and cotton candy, my supposed to be cold and stone heart melted soon as I saw them both teary eyed. Awww…Am I soo bad? 😦

“No,…nobody will look after you because Dada’s not in the mood for swimming and he’ll go to the park for the basketball game”, I retracted weighing the situation while simply glancing at them. Soon enough, they were dancing with joy, while saying…”you can stay there, just watching us from the pool side.”

Alrightie, they won. After half an hour catch up with Leah, we decided to go up at the pool area. I was there sitting at the pool side watching them playing with water..My little one asked me to join them but i just stayed there in my seat with my iPod on. Mariah Carey was with me all through out my supposed to be “life guard” tasks with the 4 kids. Felt senti again hearing her songs. There were days in my life that I considered incomplete without hearing her songs back in late 1999. I was so needy then; the need to be appreciated and at the same time the need to be understood by someone so close to me. Suddenly, I saw myself flying back to year 1999. I love the feeling…reunited with my old colleagues, old friends:)Missing them all!

A group of kabayans talking while approaching my direction bring me back to my senses. They too are gonna swim. I stood up, checked my kids and there I touched and felt the warm and enchanting pool water. Felt good…relaxed…worrying nothing. Tomorrow’s gonna be another day…

I

sLeepy head…

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

It’s fifteen before eleven o clock and I feel sooo damn sleepy. It’s not me. I’m not used to feeling sleepy this early but I really am right now. Tried to ignore the sleepiness that’s banging on my head but my eyes cannot deny it. My eyes are almost close now while I am typing and updating this blog. I need help. I need someone to keep my eyes open or a matchstick can be best alternative. wink wink! LOL!

anyhow, runnin’ out of words now as Peter pan is calling me, asking me to join him and alice in wonderland. I’m going with them now. It’ll be a lot of fun…let’s see where this sleepy head will take me.

dreamland? i’ll see you tomorrow…

nighters everyone:)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

drafts from the past…

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I was checking my personal mail this afternoon and read each old emails just to feel the old feeling i have from those dates. I have seen this drafts which were supposed to be my entries for my blog. Re-posting it now.

April 08, 2010

My Third…

After 2 months of not hearing anything or any word from my brother, I’ve finally got hold of him thru overseas call last week. Minutes of few talks and exchanged conversations, he asked me when I am coming home…then I realized, I will be celebrating my third year here in Dubai. Yeah, 3 years without me seeing them personally ‘cause I never had the chance of visiting them even just once in my whole stay in here. Sad.

I can still recall the day when I first broke the news with them that I will be leaving for Dubai. Of course, they all got shocked and excited at the same time since I will be the first in our family to travel abroad, to try my luck and earn for a living. My nanay didn’t like the idea of me being away from home. She kept on telling me to stay but maybe her convincing powers didn’t work for me cause I wasn’t convinced at all or maybe, what I was going thru that time, rough or hard times made me decide what would be best for me and my family.

Excited like a child, I told my husband that I will need this and that item for my travel. I packed my things the night before my flight. Mixed feelings of emotions, teary eyed cause I didn’t know nor I don’t have even just the slightest idea what lies ahead about that travel. First time that I will be away from home without my own family, the kids, gracious, I had my 8 months baby girl and my heart was telling me that I can’t leave her. But I did.

My sister warned me that this place is far from home, that if ever I feel the boredom (which happens most with OFW’s) and home sickness, I couldn’t go back as fast and easy as I could plus the truth that it will cost me too much if that things happen. I have to buy my plane ticket for home. A lot of thoughts were running thru my mind and to my surprised, my luggage was already filled up.

First plane ride, first flight which was bound to Middle east country cool! I mean what the??? Imagined, never had in my entire life that I made it thru travelling just nearby any asian countries. At some point in my life, I felt that life is so unfair. There are many people who loves to travel yet less are given the chance because the thing is, only few can afford the cost of each travel. On a brighter side, life is fair; most if one isn’t a lazy bone. One deserved whatever it needs to pay for.

I may look so funny the last time I bid them goodbye. I was crying and laughing while I was holding and carrying my little girl while we were in the airport. And while boarding the plane, the moment I heard that the flight is about to start, I sobbed and cried until I get tired of crying.

Then finally, for the first time, I saw Dubai with its glittering light…the famous Dubai with the tallest and highest buildings, surrounded by the artificial flowers all over, and all praises for the new dubai that was once a barren land, a desert; but with its new look, one could never tell that it was.

I’ve found it hard to sleep on my first night, the fact that I still had a jet lag and 4hrs time difference, thoughts of being away from my kids and home made me twist and turn in that bed. A new place, new home which is totally different from our own; so this is Dubai.

What really amazed me are the malls, the super sale in all shops for all signature items. Malls are built with its unique and glamorous design. I could go on and on counting all the things and praises I can say about the beauty of Dubai, but what I really can’t forget was my 1st bus ride experienced. It was summer and all the sweats and heat from the sun really made you pissed. I was with my friend and we took that bus with all the Indians and patans inside. Wahhh. I can’t stand the smell that I almost puke. Smell was in the air and inside the bus, and I had no way out. I ended up having this migraine and spoiled my day.

In this Muslim country, you may find it hard to adapt all its culture, but one needs to know how their laws/rules work. There are so many laws, which I believe that most people here find it unfair. Breaking each law has its price to pay. Too bad, expats do suffer.

And why am I still staying here in spite of it all?

Simply because; I love my family. I need to earn for a living. And having a trapo administration in my own land, working abroad is still the best option…

October 24, 2009

My metro ride…

I was on my way home this afternoon, took a metro train to avoid the traffic. And while I was boarding that famous metro train, a lot of thoughts started to occupy my mind.

I remember how it feels to be like when I was still in my home town, carefree, relax, enjoying what comes and go each day of my life. I am missing those old days and I found myself smiling for each scene playing on my mind.

I spent half of my career life in a call center based in Manila . I gained a lot of friends, some became my enemies without me knowing it, and hopefully only few of them were. J

We used to call our department as the ‘munisipyo’ (municipality) since most of us, (I have to admit) are having the time of our life during the IA days. In short, we are not taking our job as seriously as required. Yosi and coffee breaks were very rampant as early as our shift starts. I used to be in first shift then, from 6am-2pm. Morning coffee in the pantry and yosi break beside the famous Makati ’s jolly jeep then back in the office. When the mayor is in (team leader or supervisor), we behaved like we are an angel; but soon as they went out for a training or meeting, there, the munisipyo employees started to drive the whole area like …uh oh, not hell; heaven…that’s what I called it. Marathon time for dvd and cd’s which we brought from home with us. Sex and the city, Gilmore girls, friends, name all the series you have in mind and most of us have that in our pedestal. And to add it up, it was also the time when Korean, Taiwanese telenovela became popular. There were these 2 guys in the company who used to burn latest collections of tv series, songs and the likes and we used to buy that! I sooo love the Meteor Garden and other Korean tele novela’s that I can’t help but always order copies from that 2 guys. I used to exchange my copies to my office friends and colleagues and there in the office, we watched them all! Breaktime comes and as naughty as one can imagined, after the dvd marathon, we used to go out of the office, drove to the nearest mall in the office, took our lunch there and heaven knows how long we spent our time in there. Crazy people! Being in a call center environment, most of the accounts we were holding used to be in a backlog situation and of course; over time is always available and we are loving itttt!!! Yeah! Because honestly, we were having an overtime yet having fun at the same time; it was supposed to be a 4hours or 6hours ot and yet, half of that time were spent in the mall (most of the time) watching the latest movie or just roaming around the mall. Can you imagine that? LOL! Roll eyes. I am missing those times but most are the colleagues who used to be close to me…

OMG! I almost missed my stop. I’m already here at union square station. Gotta go now. Good thing, I came back to my senses when I saw some familiar faces rushing thru the exit. Catcha later! 🙂

tired…

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hey yah! feel so much tired. haven’t had enough sleep for the last 2 nights plus the fact that i was out with friends for some bonding moments. i have so much thoughts running through my head but tried as i might, i cannot put those thoughts into writing as my shaking hands wanted me to pause for a moment and rest for the entire night…

nighters everyone! signing off now.

Myke turns five!

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My little girl was so excited for her 5th birthday. She started doing the countdown 2 weeks before her big day. Everyday, she never failed to remind me that her birthday is getting closer and that I have to give her a present. Hehehe. Demanding little girl.Yep. Used to call her my little girl. She loves it whenever i’m calling her with that pet name. Anyhow, before her b-day comes, she asked me to put a happy birthday video on her FB account. And here it comes…1st wish granted…

She was so happy yesterday seeing that video of her. She’s cutie, right?

The big day finally arrived, Makayla waited until the clock strike at 12MN on August 10. She didn’t sleep until the countdown isn’t yet finished. I was so happy to see her jumping with joy when me, dada and her big sissy, hugged and greeted her happy birthday. The waiting is finally over…

We decided to celebrate her birthday tonight, thursday since it’s already weekend. Oh by the way, guess who chose her birthday outfit? It was her.After picking me up from my workplace yesterday, Myke suggested that we need to go to the mall for her bday dress. When I asked her about which style, this were the exact words she said “i’ll tell you when we get there”. ooo-la-la! check her fashion style…

Love this sweet little girl! Happy birthday Myke! Here’s your 2nd wish, Tangled birthday cake…

Happy Birthday to you...happy birthday to you...love u baby! 🙂

The celebration was great. Everybody had fun especially the celebrant…will upload pix soon. Feel bit sleepy now. Will catch up some sleep. I needed it now.:) nighters world…

setting me free

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Whew! finally, after 4 days of being under migraine arrest, I was set free. I woke up this morning weighing if the pain was still in my head, cause if it does…well I’ll just kick it out by injection. Dare me migraine, dare me. LOL! 🙂

Though it was busy in the branch, my mood was with me the whole day. I’ve seen a lot of mistakes and incorrect documents from the account maintenance applications which were handed over by my colleague from the 2nd shift, but to my surprise, I was not pissed at all. Two things, maybe I was already used to seeing all that rejected applications from her or maybe, I was not mentally present from my physical self earlier due to advil overdose. hehehe. Whatever it was, I don’t mind at all. Let my colleague rest from my daily gospel about her work and at least for one day, my wrinkles will stop growing. 🙂 wink…wink!

My Boo, (branch operations officer) asked me early this morning how am I feeling because for 3 days I was never nice to her which is of course very unusual of me. Said, I was not talking to her like I used to and she missed me. I felt sorry for her and myself. Nope. I was never arrogant to her for 3 days. (except last Thursday) I just didn’t speak to her because I didn’t feel like talking then. 🙂 So in returned, i just hugged her and said, blame it to my migraine. I’m back. We are ok again.

of chocolate and headache:(

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My migraine’s been with me for 3 days now and no matter how much I tried to get rid of it, well it doesn’t. It’ll be forever stuck here in my head. I soo darn hate it. Blame it to the 44 degrees hot temp, plus the fact that I have violated my chocolate diet. Uh-oh, I’m not implying that I am on a serious no sweet diet, but my migraine really hates caffeine.  For the last 1 week, I never went home without dropping by in a small grocery beside the branch just to grab a chocolate I can munch on while watching tv with my girls; and now, migraine’s trying to get even and so mean to me. Huhuhu! My advil is not being cooperative now. I had 5 capsules since this morning and as per the dosage and administration, I should not exceed 6 liqui-gels in 24 hours.

Was tired and felt so restless when I arrived home this afternoon thus tucked myself into bed and finally got a good sleep. Yey! Ei, before I forget to mention, I stopped by at Burjuman Metro station this afternoon just to meet Olive. It was such a short meeting. She was with Erick and the two will attend their yoga class. She returned the book she borrowed when she slept over our place 2 weeks ago and borrowed a new one, shopaholic series.

I tried to sleep again after dinner, but decided to continue reading the current book I am reading with ice pack on my forehead. Somehow it could help relax my nerve muscles. My husband arrived from work and massages my forehead as he saw me suffering from pain. Ain’t that sweet of him?

Anyway, I better stop now. Time to rest. Hubby keeps on reminding me that I have a migraine. nighters world.

TGIF

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Woke up early today in spite of sleeping late this morning. Don’t feel well, yep…still. Migraine, please spare me today
Nothing much to do; I don’t feel like doing the household chores which is my weekend routine. Having my coffee now; while watching astroboy with my little myke plus checking my FB and my gmail inbox. Ooopsssy, saw this Mango contest from FB and of course as usual, I joined. Let’s see who can get that prize. Hehehhe! Anyway, my BFF Virgin Radio Dubai posted their hot new hits from Adele…Set fire to the rain. See if you like it. I do. Check this out

If you like that one; you’ll surely love this…